I told her I knew when I was going to die because my birth certificate had an expiration date on it.
They say you're not supposed to put metal in a microwave oven. They're right.
99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
What do batteries run on?
I like George Carlin's jokes. I like his humor. He's one of my heroes, and I like what he did with talking about everyday things.
My friend Sam has one leg. I went to his house. I couldn't go up the stairs.