In a lot of ways, success is much harder than I thought it would be. I figured that you'd get here and then everything would be happily ever after. But, it's hard work, almost harder once you're successful because you've got to maintain it.

One time the power went out in my house and I had to use the flash on my camera to see my way around. I made a sandwich and took fifty pictures of my face. The neighbors thought there was lightning in my house.

I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.

I was always making my friends laugh but I never wanted the attention of the whole classroom.

Yesterday I saw a chicken crossing the road. I asked it why. It told me it was none of my business.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

I met this wonderful girl at Macy's. She was buying clothes and I was putting Slinkies on the escalator.