I am writing a book. So far I have the pages numbered.

Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.

I collect rare photographs... I have two... One of Houdini locking his keys in his car... the other is a rare picture of Norman Rockwell beating up a child.

I used to own an ant farm but had to give it up. I couldn't find tractors small enough to fit it.

Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.

I have all the emotions that everyone has; it just appears that I don't.

I spent all my money on a FAX machine. Now I can only FAX collect.