Why, in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?

I plugged my phone in where the blender used to be. I called someone. They went "Aaaaahhhh..."

What do batteries run on?

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles.

I moved into an all-electric house. I forgot and left the porch light on all day. When I got home the front door wouldn't open.

I have all the emotions that everyone has; it just appears that I don't.

If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?