A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.
Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.
I used to be an airline pilot. I got fired because I kept locking the keys in the plane. They caught me on an 80 foot stepladder with a coat hanger.
If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?
How come abbreviated is such a long word?
I like to talk about lint and coasters, the expansion of the universe and maybe McDonald's. I'm completely turned off by the idea of politics.