The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?
Steven WrightHow come you don't ever hear about gruntled employees? And who has been dis-ing them anyhow?
Steven WrightWhy are they called buildings when they’re already finished? Shouldn’t they be called builts?
Steven WrightI've been thinking of humorous things since I was... I can't remember when. All the way through elementary school, all the way through junior high, all the way through high school, through college and after college, I was thinking of the same kinds of things that I say in front of an audience now.
Steven Wright