You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don’t know what to feed it.
When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child... eventually.
I'm not naked, I'm in the band.
People think my friend George is weird because he wears sideburns...behind his ears. I think he's weird because he wears false teeth...with braces on them.
You know what scares me? When you have to be nice to some paranoid schizophrenic, just because she lives in your head.