I'm addicted to placebos. I could quit, but it wouldn't matter.

I used to be a narrator for bad mimes.

OK, so what's the speed of dark?

Do Roman paramedics refer to IV’s as '4's'?

Black holes result from God dividing the universe by zero.

Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.

I heard that in relativity theory, space and time are the same thing. Einstein discovered this when he kept showing up three miles late for his meetings.