I hate it when my leg falls asleep. I know that means it's going to be up all night.
The sky already fell. Now what?
Women... can't live with 'em...... can't shoot 'em
One day a guy tried to rob me on the street, and I had no money. So I charged him.
If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?
I once tried to commit suicide by jumping off a building...I changed my mind at the last minute, so I just flipped over and landed on my feet. Two little kittens nearby saw what happened and one turns to the other and says, "See, that's how it's done."