It's like the Wild West, the Internet. There are no rules.

Why is the third hand on a watch called a second hand?

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

Winny would spend all of his time practicing limbo. He got pretty good. He could go under a rug.

I saw a sign at a gas station. It said 'help wanted'. There was another sign below it that said 'self service'. So I hired myself. Then I made myself the boss. I gave myself a raise. I paid myself. Then I quit.

I eat Swiss cheese from the inside out.

When I'm on stage, it's really intense. My mind is going a million miles an hour, trying to remember my act, trying to say it all the right way. It's funny how different it looks and how it's happening. There are three Fellini circuses in my head, and outwardly it looks like I'm going to get a bagel.