I wrote a song, but I can't read music so I don't know what it is. Every once in a while I'll be listening to the radio and I say, "I think I might have written that."

I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to the side.

I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.

Why do we wait until a pig is dead to "cure" it?

If it’s zero degrees outside today and it’s supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

In a lot of ways, success is much harder than I thought it would be. I figured that you'd get here and then everything would be happily ever after. But, it's hard work, almost harder once you're successful because you've got to maintain it.

I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it's like a circus in my head.