When I was in boy scouts, I slipped on the ice and hurt my ankle. A little old lady had to help me across the street.

Officer, I know I was going faster than 55MPH, but I wasn't going to be on the road an hour.

I live on a one-way street that's also a dead end. I'm not sure how I got there.

I'm standing behind a wall of jokes. You don't know about my personal life, my girlfriends, or what I do when I'm not on the road. There's this guy, this comedian, and this is how he thinks, but people really don't know anything about me.

When I was in boy scouts, I slipped on the ice and hurt my ankle. A little old lady had to help me across the street.

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the postmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?

I had to stop driving my car for a while... the tires got dizzy.