When I was in boy scouts, I slipped on the ice and hurt my ankle. A little old lady had to help me across the street.

Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn't happen.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.

Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish.

Consciousness: That annoying time between naps

I plugged my phone in where the blender used to be. I called someone. They went "Aaaaahhhh..."