I took a course in speed reading. Then I got Reader's Digest on microfilm. By the time I got the machine set up, I was done.
Drugs may lead to nowhere, but at least it's the scenic route.
Black holes result from God dividing the universe by zero.
I've never seen electricity, that's why I don't pay for it
To me, comedy is just twisting reality. It's commenting or observing or twisting life.
I stayed in a really old hotel last night. They sent me a wake-up letter.