Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?

I was in a job interview and I opened a book and started reading. Then I said to the guy 'Let me ask you a question. If you are in a spaceship that is traveling at the speed of light, and you turn on the headlights, does anything happen?' He said 'I don't know'. I said 'I don't want your job'.

I'm not afraid of heights. I'm afraid of widths.

A beautiful woman moved in next door. So I went over and returned a cup of sugar. She said, "You didn't borrow this." I said, " I will!"

If one synchronised swimmer drowns, do all the rest have to drown too?

Officer, I know I was going faster than 55MPH, but I wasn't going to be on the road an hour.

Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, "Do I know you?