Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.
I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans.
How do you tell when you’re out of invisible ink?
I was in the first submarine. Instead of a periscope, they had a kaleidoscope. "We're surrounded."
Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach... it pisses me off! I'll go over to a little baby and say 'What are you doing here? You haven't worked a day in your life!'
I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the statues that are in all the other museums.