Why buy a product that it takes 2000 flushes to get rid of?

If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.

Honestly, I just go to restaurants to eat so I won't die. If there was a pill I could take in January and then I wouldn't have to eat again for the rest of the year, I would take it. Of course, I wouldn't want to sacrifice my chocolate cake and ice cream.

When I was a kid, I went to the store and asked the guy, Do you have any toy train schedules?

Don't you hate when your hand falls asleep and you know it will be up all night.

I bought a self learning record to learn Spanish. I turned it on and went to sleep; the record got stuck. The next day I could only stutter in Spanish.

I went to a garage sale. 'How much for the garage' 'It's not for sale.'