Winny and I lived in a house that ran on static electricity. If you wanted to run the blender, you had to rub balloons on your head. If you wanted to cook, you had to pull off a sweater real quick

I bought a cheap piece of land... It was on someone else’s property.

Isn't the best way to save face to keep the lower part shut?

I went to a 7-11 and asked for a 2x4 and a box of 3x5's. The clerk said, "ten-four."

Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.

Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.

Should you trust a stockbroker who's married to a travel agent?