If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.

It's a good thing we have gravity or else when birds died they'd just stay right up there. Hunters would be all confused.

I bought a dog the other day. . . . I named him Stay. It's fun to call him. . . . "Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!" He went insane. Now he just ignores me and keeps typing.

It seems like we wake up and it's a race until you get to bed. It gets to you after a while and you think, 'What the hell am I doing?'

Childhood was very nice. The only thing wrong was that I was so introverted, everything became a big deal... 'Oh, no, here comes the bus. Where am I gonna sit on the bus?'

I worked in a health food store once. A guy asked me, 'If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?

Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.