If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.

I couldn't find the remote control to the remote control.

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

I like to fill my tub up with water, then turn the shower on and act like I'm in a submarine that's been hit .

There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.

I named my dog Stay, so I can say, 'Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!

It doesn't matter what temperature the room is, it's always room temperature.