If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.

I got an answering machine for my phone. . . . Now, when I'm not home and somebody calls me up . . . they hear a recording of a busy signal.

How can there be self-help groups?

Do fish get cramps after eating?

I eat swiss cheese. But I only nibble on it. I make the holes bigger.

I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.

Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?