Be nice to your children. After all, they are going to choose your nursing home.
I bought a house on a one-way dead-end road. I don’t know how I got there.
If you can't hear me, it's because I'm in parentheses.
If you got into a taxi and the driver started driving backward, would the taxi driver end up owing you money?
I never even thought of myself as deadpan until someone wrote an article about me about a year after I was doing comedy. There was a paper called the 'Boston Phoenix,' and someone wrote a description of what I was doing and that's where I first saw 'deadpan.'
I used to be a narrator for bad mimes.