All of the people in my building are insane. The guy above me designs synthetic hairballs for ceramic cats.

I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to the side.

How do you get off a non-stop flight?

I went to a general store but they wouldn't let me buy anything specific.

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

I kept a diary right after I was born. Day 1: Tired from the move. Day 2: Everyone thinks I'm an idiot.