I saw a small bottle of cologne and asked if it was for sale. She said, "It's free with purchase." I asked her if anyone bought anything toda

To me, comedy is just twisting reality. It's commenting or observing or twisting life.

I’m so tired... I was up all night trying to round off infinity.

I used to own an ant farm but had to give it up. I couldn't find tractors small enough to fit it.

Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?

I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one.

Why buy a product that it takes 2000 flushes to get rid of?