The sky is falling. No, I'm tipping over backwards.

I took a course in speed reading. Then I got Reader's Digest on microfilm. By the time I got the machine set up, I was done.

I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

When I was in school the teachers told me practice makes perfect; then they told me nobody’s perfect so I stopped practicing.

Sometimes I talk to myself in languages I'm unfamiliar with... just to screw with my subconscious.

I didn't want to be selling insurance at 40, wondering what would it have been like to do stand-up.