The sky is falling. No, I'm tipping over backwards.

If you are sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?

I’m so tired... I was up all night trying to round off infinity.

I wear a hat on stage so that people won't be blinded by the reflection from my head. Also, if I don't wear a hat, there's no way that the hat can be at that level by itself on the stage.

Black holes result from God dividing the universe by zero.

I lost a button hole.

The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.