I got a new shadow. I had to get rid of the other one – it wasn’t doing what I was doing.
What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?
I washed a sock. Then I put it in the dryer. When I took it out, it was gone.
Babies don't need a vacation. But I still see them at the beach. It pisses me off.
Officer, I know I was going faster than 55MPH, but I wasn't going to be on the road an hour.
I'm kinda tired. I was up all night trying to round off infinity. Then I got bored and went out and painted passing lines on curved roads.