People think my friend George is weird because he wears sideburns...behind his ears. I think he's weird because he wears false teeth...with braces on them.
Steven WrightI was in a grocery store. I saw a sign that said 'pet supplies.' So I did. Then I went outside and saw a sign that said, 'Compact cars.
Steven WrightI took a course in speed reading. Then I got Reader's Digest on microfilm. By the time I got the machine set up, I was done.
Steven Wright