I put a new engine in my car, but forgot to take the old one out. Now my car goes 500 miles per hour. The harmonica sounds amazing.

How do you get off a non-stop flight?

Imagine Pulitzer prizefighting.

Nobody can really compare a relationship in which the victim is 15 years old to one where she's 6. While both criminal, they're very different circumstances.

I Xeroxed my watch. Now I have time to spare.

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out.

I put hardwood floors on top of wall-to-wall carpet.