I used to own an ant farm but had to give it up. I couldn't find tractors small enough to fit it.
Yesterday, my eyeglass prescription ran out.
I wish, when I was first born, the first thing I said was "Quote" so the last thing I said before I died would be "Unquote.
No one is listening until you make a mistake.
If you can't hear me, it's because I'm in parentheses.
I got an answering machine for my phone. . . . Now, when I'm not home and somebody calls me up . . . they hear a recording of a busy signal.