I was skydiving horizontally.

There's a pizza place near where I live that sells only slices. In the back, you can see a guy tossing a triangle in the air.

I was going to tape some records onto a cassette, but I got the wires backwards. I erased the all of the records. When I returned them to my friend, he said, "Hey, these records are all blank."

I took my dog for a walk... all the way from New York to Florida... I said to him "There now you're done."

What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way?

You know how it is when you go to be the subject of a psychology experiment and nobody else shows up and you think maybe that's part of the experiment? I'm like that all the time.

Yesterday, my eyeglass prescription ran out.