How young can you die of old age?

I was an only child, eventually.

Don't you hate when your hand falls asleep and you know it will be up all night.

I got my driver's license photo taken out of focus on purpose. Now when I get pulled over, the cop looks at it [moving it nearer and farther, trying to see it clearly], and says, "Here, you can go"

Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving.

I'm kinda tired. I was up all night trying to round off infinity. Then I got bored and went out and painted passing lines on curved roads.