How young can you die of old age?

I heard that in relativity theory, space and time are the same thing. Einstein discovered this when he kept showing up three miles late for his meetings.

Women... can't live with 'em...... can't shoot 'em

I wear a hat on stage so that people won't be blinded by the reflection from my head. Also, if I don't wear a hat, there's no way that the hat can be at that level by itself on the stage.

When I was on TV in the '80s, I wasn't thinking, 'There's a 10-year-old kid watching this and in 15 years, he's gonna be doing stuff that was influenced by me.' I was trying to get my five minutes together. So now that those people are comedians and they're influenced by me - it's bizarre.

My friend Sam has one leg. I went to his house. I couldn't go up the stairs.

Like other kids wanted to become firemen or astronauts, I wanted to make people laugh.