Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.

My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere.

I washed mud off of mud.

I have not lost my mind - it's backed up on disk somewhere.

I'm moving to Mars next week, so if you have any boxes...

When I was a kid, I never did funny things to get attention. I was never a funny person. I was never, like, 'Oh, wow. I could say this some day on stage.'

I went to San Francisco. I found someone’s heart.