I got my driver's license photo taken out of focus on purpose. Now when I get pulled over, the cop looks at it [moving it nearer and farther, trying to see it clearly], and says, "Here, you can go"

I have two pairs of reading glasses. One pair is for reading fiction, the other for non-fiction. I've read the Bible twice wearing each pair, and it's the same.

I was once arrested for resisting arrest.

Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawn shop?

I am writing a book. So far I have the pages numbered.

Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?

What I like about the jokes, to me it's a lot of logic, no matter how crazy they are. It has to make absolute sense, or it won't be funny.