You know how it is when you’re walking up the stairs, and you get to the top, and you think there’s one more step? I’m like that all the time.

When I was 16... I worked in a pet store. And they fired me because... they had three snakes in there, and one day I braided them.

A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.

I'm kinda tired. I was up all night trying to round off infinity. Then I got bored and went out and painted passing lines on curved roads.

I kept a diary right after I was born. Day 1: Tired from the move. Day 2: Everyone thinks I'm an idiot.

It's a good thing we have gravity or else when birds died they'd just stay right up there. Hunters would be all confused.