I'd like to sing you a song now about my old girlfriend. It's called "They'll Find Her When the Leaves Blow Away 'Cause I'm Not Raking 'Til Spring."

I saw a tree fall in the woods, and I didn't hear it.

In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number.

I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier they wouldn't have to go so fast.

My father was a small claims court jester.

My friend Sally is a nudist. I went to her house. The closets have no doors. The walls are covered with see-through wallpaper.

Imagine Oshkosh straitjackets for little insane children.