I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier they wouldn't have to go so fast.

I kept a diary right after I was born. Day 1: Tired from the move. Day 2: Everyone thinks I'm an idiot.

If you had a million Shakespeares, could they write like a monkey?

Black holes result from God dividing the universe by zero.

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

Does fuzzy logic tickle?

Do married people live longer than single people or does it just SEEM longer?