Imagine Oshkosh straitjackets for little insane children.

I eat swiss cheese. But I only nibble on it. I make the holes bigger.

Last night I fell asleep in a satellite dish. My dreams were broadcast all over the world.

Childhood was very nice. The only thing wrong was that I was so introverted, everything became a big deal... 'Oh, no, here comes the bus. Where am I gonna sit on the bus?'

I made a chocolate cake with white chocolate. Then I took it to a potluck. I stood in line for some cake. They said, "Do you want white cake or chocolate cake?" I said, "yes."

If I ever had twins, I'd use one for parts.

I went to the bank and asked to borrow a cup of money. They said, 'What for?' I said, 'I'm going to buy some sugar.'