Imagine Oshkosh straitjackets for little insane children.

I parked in the tow-away zone, and when I got back, the entire neighborhood was gone.

If you got into a taxi and the driver started driving backward, would the taxi driver end up owing you money?

99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

I like to fill my tub up with water, then turn the shower on and act like I'm in a submarine that's been hit .

My friend Winnie is a procrastinator. He didn't get his birth mark til he was eight years old.

Sometimes I wish my first word was 'quote,' so that on my death bed, my last words could be 'end quote.'