I tried to hang myself with a bungee cord. I kept almost dying.

I went camping and borrowed a circus tent by mistake. I didn't notice until I got it set up. People complained because they couldn't see the lake.

I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.

I used to work at a health food store. I got fired for drinking straight Bosco on the job.

I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'

Honestly, I just go to restaurants to eat so I won't die. If there was a pill I could take in January and then I wouldn't have to eat again for the rest of the year, I would take it. Of course, I wouldn't want to sacrifice my chocolate cake and ice cream.

On the other hand, you have different fingers.