Honestly, I just go to restaurants to eat so I won't die. If there was a pill I could take in January and then I wouldn't have to eat again for the rest of the year, I would take it. Of course, I wouldn't want to sacrifice my chocolate cake and ice cream.

Your honor, why would anyone in their right mind park in the passing lane?

The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach.

I put hardwood floors on top of wall-to-wall carpet.

I named my dog Stay, so I can say, 'Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!

I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to it.

I was going to tape some records onto a cassette, but I got the wires backwards. I erased the all of the records. When I returned them to my friend, he said, "Hey, these records are all blank."