I used to work at a health food store. I got fired for drinking straight Bosco on the job.

I was hitchhiking the other day and a hearse stopped. I said, 'No thanks, I'm not going that far.

Hermits have no peer pressure.

At one point he decided enough was enough.

If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?

I saw a bank that said '24 Hour Banking,' but I don't have that much time.

Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.