I used to work at a health food store. I got fired for drinking straight Bosco on the job.

If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.

I can't stop thinking like this.

I am writing a book. So far I have the pages numbered.

If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.

It's a fine night to have an evening.

I got a dog and named him 'Stay'. Now, I go 'Come here, Stay!' After a while, the dog went insane and wouldn't move at all.