I like George Carlin's jokes. I like his humor. He's one of my heroes, and I like what he did with talking about everyday things.

Day One: Still tired from the move.

Four years ago... no, it was yesterday.

I put hardwood floors on top of wall-to-wall carpet.

Do radioactive cats have eighteen half-lives?

My father was a small claims court jester.

I brought a mirror to Lovers' Lane. I told everybody I'm Narcissus.