Why is the third hand on a watch called a second hand?

You know how it is when you’re walking up the stairs, and you get to the top, and you think there’s one more step? I’m like that all the time.

I was in the first submarine. Instead of a periscope, they had a kaleidoscope. "We're surrounded."

In my house there's this light switch that doesn't do anything. Every so often, I would flick it on and off just to check. Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Germany. She said 'cut it out'

I went to a general store but they wouldn't let me buy anything specific.

always remember your unique, just like everone else

I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to the side.