Last night I fell asleep in a satellite dish. My dreams were broadcast all over the world.

I have an existential map. It has 'You are here' written all over it.

I parked in the tow-away zone, and when I got back, the entire neighborhood was gone.

I wrote a song, but I can't read music so I don't know what it is. Every once in a while I'll be listening to the radio and I say, "I think I might have written that."

I saw a vegetarian wearing a furry coat. so I looked closer. it was made of grass.

I went to a general store but they wouldn't let me buy anything specific.

If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?