Women... can't live with 'em...... can't shoot 'em
Because I don't believe everything I read.
I met this wonderful girl at Macy's. She was buying clothes and I was putting Slinkies on the escalator.
You know how it is when you're reading a book and falling asleep, you're reading, reading... and all of a sudden you notice your eyes are closed? I'm like that all the time.
I couldn't find the remote control to the remote control.
The other day I went to a tourist information booth and asked, 'Tell me about some of the people who were here last year.