I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
The other day, I was walking my dog around my building . . . on the ledge. Some people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.
I got a garage door opener. It can't close. Just open.
I lost a button hole.
I finally got around to reading the dictionary. Turns out the Zebra did it.
When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go?