I kept a diary right after I was born. Day 1: Tired from the move. Day 2: Everyone thinks I'm an idiot.
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
Doing a little work around the house. I put fake brick wallpaper over a real brick wall, just so I'd be the only one who knew. People come over and I'm gonna say, "Go ahead, touch it... it feels real."
I think God's going to come down and pull civilization over for speeding.
If a mute kid swears, should his mother wash his hands with soap?
I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.