I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose.

The best kind of friend is the kind you sit with, never say a word and walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you ever had.

I eat Swiss cheese from the inside out.

Snakes have no arms. That's why they don't wear vests.

Honestly, I just go to restaurants to eat so I won't die. If there was a pill I could take in January and then I wouldn't have to eat again for the rest of the year, I would take it. Of course, I wouldn't want to sacrifice my chocolate cake and ice cream.

I was watching the Superbowl with my 92 year old grandfather. The team scored a touchdown. They showed the instant replay. He thought they scored another one. I was gonna tell him, but I figured the game HE was watching was better.

I haven't changed at all. I'm the same as when I was 11.