If I melt dry ice, can I swim without getting wet?

When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, 'Well, what do you need?'

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck. But my lawyer thinks he can get me five.

Doing a little work around the house. I put fake brick wallpaper over a real brick wall, just so I'd be the only one who knew. People come over and I'm gonna say, "Go ahead, touch it... it feels real."

Do Roman paramedics refer to IV’s as '4's'?

How come abbreviated is such a long word?

Half the people you know are below average.