I was in the supermarket the other day, and I met a lady in the aisle where they keep the generic brands. Her name was 'woman.

There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators.

Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?

I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'll use it.

In my house on the ceilings I have paintings of the rooms above... so I never have to go upstairs.

There's something about being in front of a live audience that's fun. It's a really interesting, very electric, very alive, and intense experience, and you can't get it anywhere else. And I've been doing it since I was 23, so it's part of my being - it's part of my fabric as a person.

I recently went to the hardware store and I bought some used paint... it was in a shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included. So I had to buy them again.