I never even thought of myself as deadpan until someone wrote an article about me about a year after I was doing comedy. There was a paper called the 'Boston Phoenix,' and someone wrote a description of what I was doing and that's where I first saw 'deadpan.'

I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it's like a circus in my head.

How do you tell when you’re out of invisible ink?

If you got into a taxi and the driver started driving backward, would the taxi driver end up owing you money?

I have all the emotions that everyone has; it just appears that I don't.

I was once walking through the forest alone. A tree fell right in front of me - and I didn't hear it.

I saw a sign at a gas station. It said 'help wanted'. There was another sign below it that said 'self service'. So I hired myself. Then I made myself the boss. I gave myself a raise. I paid myself. Then I quit.