I worked in a health food store once. A guy asked me, 'If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?

I moved into an all-electric house. I forgot and left the porch light on all day. When I got home the front door wouldn't open.

I stayed in a really old hotel last night. They sent me a wake-up letter.

When I was a kid, I went to the store and asked the guy, Do you have any toy train schedules?

I am writing a book. So far I have the pages numbered.

Imagine Pulitzer prizefighting.

Don't you hate when your hand falls asleep and you know it will be up all night.