Sometimes I wish my first word was 'quote,' so that on my death bed, my last words could be 'end quote.'
All of the people in my building are insane. The guy above me designs synthetic hairballs for ceramic cats.
Is boneless chicken considered to be an invertebrate?
Tinsel is really snakes' mirrors.
I eat swiss cheese. But I only nibble on it. I make the holes bigger.
When I was five years old I was on a merry go round. There was a gunshot nearby. The horses stampeded. There I was running down the street on a purple wooden horse.