I bought my brother some gift-wrap for Christmas. I took it to the gift wrap department and told them to wrap it, but in a different print so he would know when to stop unwrapping.

My neighbor has a circular driveway... he can't get out.

Imagine Pulitzer prizefighting.

I was hitchhiking the other day and a hearse stopped. I said, 'No thanks, I'm not going that far.

I brought a mirror to Lovers' Lane. I told everybody I'm Narcissus.

Some friends of mine got me a sweater for my birthday. I'd have preferred a moaner or a screamer, but the sweater was OK.

If I melt dry ice, can I swim without getting wet?