I bought my brother some gift-wrap for Christmas. I took it to the gift wrap department and told them to wrap it, but in a different print so he would know when to stop unwrapping.

I’m so tired... I was up all night trying to round off infinity.

Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring... 'How to Build a Boat.'

I just got this new camera. It's very advanced - you don't even need it.

Good jokes are gems. A good idea is hard to come by. I couldn't give them to someone else, even for money. It just wouldn't seem right.

Clones are people two.

One time the power went out in my house and I had to use the flash on my camera to see my way around. I made a sandwich and took fifty pictures of my face. The neighbors thought there was lightning in my house.