Some friends of mine got me a sweater for my birthday. I'd have preferred a moaner or a screamer, but the sweater was OK.

I bought a dog the other day. . . . I named him Stay. It's fun to call him. . . . "Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!" He went insane. Now he just ignores me and keeps typing.

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.

My act is an exaggeration of a part of me. I'm much more expressive off stage.

I rented a lottery ticket. I won a million dollars. But I had to give it back.

I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches of the world... perhaps you've seen it.