Tinsel is really snakes' mirrors.
Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?
The other day I ... no wait, that wasn't me.
Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.
Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach... it pisses me off! I'll go over to a little baby and say 'What are you doing here? You haven't worked a day in your life!'
The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.