If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?
Steven WrightThe sun never sets on the British Empire. But it rises every morning. The sky must get awfully crowded.
Steven WrightI went for a walk last night and she asked me how long I was going to be gone. I said, 'The whole time.
Steven WrightWhen I'm on stage, it's really intense. My mind is going a million miles an hour, trying to remember my act, trying to say it all the right way. It's funny how different it looks and how it's happening. There are three Fellini circuses in my head, and outwardly it looks like I'm going to get a bagel.
Steven Wright