Do Roman paramedics refer to IV’s as '4's'?

Don't you hate when your hand falls asleep and you know it will be up all night.

Do fish get cramps after eating?

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles.

A cop stopped me for speeding/ He said, 'Why were you going so fast?' I said, 'See this thing my foot is on? It's called an accelerator. When you push down on it, it sends more gas to the engine. The whole car just takes right off. And see this thing [mimes steering wheel]? This steers it'