If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?
If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
Only one in four jokes ever works, and I still can't predict what people will laugh at.
I used to own an ant farm but had to give it up. I couldn't find tractors small enough to fit it.
How come abbreviated is such a long word?
I went for a walk last night and she asked me how long I was going to be gone. I said, 'The whole time.