Do fish get cramps after eating?

I have a map of the United States... Actual size. It says, 'Scale: 1 mile = 1 mile.' I spent last summer folding it. I hardly ever unroll it. People ask me where I live, and I say, 'E6.

To me, comedy is just twisting reality. It's commenting or observing or twisting life.

Why doesn’t the fattest man in the world become a hockey goalie?

Why are they called a-part-ments, when they're all stuck together?

Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.

My school colors were clear. We used to say, 'I'm not naked, I'm in the band.